All tagged motherhood
We still have a long way to go when it comes to humanizing and privileging maternal voices, especially the voices of marginalized and BIPOC mothers, but it is my hope that as more books, television shows, films, and high-profile figures continue to address the nuances of the maternal experience, we will come to see mothers for what they truly are — not labels, not archetypes, not binaries or bearers of the world’s burdens, but human beings.
Not every woman wants to tell her story. As comforting as it is to explain away maternal lies as reactions to trauma or protective acts of love, the reality is many mothers lie with/on purpose. In my pursuit of re-envisioning lying as a potentially ethical act at best and a necessary and practical one at worst, I would be remiss if I did not take an equally serious look at mothers who lie intentionally to their children, who lack zero desire to ever tell them the truth, and whose lies cause immense psychological and emotional suffering in their loved ones
I argue that a lie is not a lie, as in “an untrue statement with intent to deceive,” when it is an unintentional protective measure employed in the aftermath of a traumatic event, as is the case with Celeste, Jane, Elena, Bebe, and Polly. Though each mother has her own story, and thus her own multifaceted reasons for keeping secrets from her children, their lies collectively stem from their inability to confront or process their traumas.
Most moms, like most individuals, lie with purpose. They lie to protect themselves and their children from physical or psychological pain, to avoid confronting traumatic memories, to start over and fashion new identities, to resist the institution of motherhood, or simply because they do not see a reason to tell the full truth. This thesis explores the motives of the mothers in four modern novels.
Not all mothers see fashion as fun, playful or comfy; often, putting an outfit together can seem like a burden. But the hope is not to shame mothers into looking fashionable; rather, the hope is that women see style as a form of self-expression — a way to explore who they are as mothers and not who society wants them to be.
